I am practicing conscious surrender every day, and it is oh so much more fun than working and striving and working and striving some more!
So I have my music studio set up in my house among the rice paddies, and this week I bought a dedicated table for my keyboard, mic and audio interface. I have completed two drafts of my Universe song, one with a fast dubstep type beat and the other more Ibiza style house (that’s what I am calling it anyway!!).
I have been meditating every morning, and practicing yoga every second day or so. Sometimes I get up at 6am as the sun is rising and other times I lie in bed doing my morning chakra cleansing and breathwork.
Some of the magical mystical happenings that have appeared in my life since beginning my Surrender Experiment and arriving in Bali are:
- Meeting a super beautiful soul friend, who runs a lifestyle business and online travel agency, connecting with him here in Bali and staying in touch via Whatsapp (now he has moved to Bangkok) through all the ups and downs of this adventure called life
- Getting an invitation to do an audition for the Millionaire Hotseat quiz show in Melbourne, and flying there for about five days to do it (still waiting to hear if they want me on the show)
- Spending a couple of days and a night at a spectacular villa here with about 15 interesting entrepreneurial peeps from all over the world. Doing acro yoga, aqua yoga and playing old fashioned lo-fi games like charades as part of a video shoot for the Co-Workation startup
- Having lunch with a Bad Witch and learning some of her magical witchy secrets (I don’t remember them all but I know they centered around Jupiter and there were candles, incense, flowers, alters, incantations and curious things called sigils)
- Attending a Halloween party as the Balinese Queen of Hearts along with new friends, the King of Hearts and the Queen of Diamonds
- Going to the Acroyoga jam at Radiantly Alive which is actually a bit scary for me (the physical intimacy with unknown people) so I need to call up the inner warrior woman and be brave
- Playing my Universe song in public for the first time ever at an open mic night accompanying myself on the keys
- Teaching my Global Yogi Dance class (or, as I prefer to say – guiding it) for a small group of lovely people here in Ubud
So I think I can say that the Surrender project is working for me.
What else can I surrender?
A few days ago in my Tarot, out came the High Priestess.
The High Priestess represents the integration of the masculine and feminine energies and the freedom of radical self-expression.
So I think I can do some more letting go of caring what others think of me, which in turn will free me up to be more radically authentic in my self-expression, and will undoubtedly help in the scary process of playing my songs in public (which I acknowledge a big part of me doesn’t want to do because of fear of judgement of the whisperings-of-my-innermost-soul, but another part of me does, motivated by a desire-to-share).
I have already made some progress in the area of radical self-expression, and am better able to tell friends how I am feeling, without first worrying about how this news is going to be received by them, which has been my normal (unconscious) modus operandi up until now.
Something very interesting that is happening at the moment is that the whole left side of my body is kind of waking up and re-aligning and opening.
The left side if the feminine side, which at a macro level in society as a whole has been repressed and oppressed for thousands of years. I feel this repression / oppression in my physical body, and I know that this awakening I am going through is my feminine side waking up so I can better integrate it into my life. This is very apt for the surrender experiment, given that the energies of the feminine are: receptivity, feeling, being, listening on the physical / emotional plane.
The more balanced we are in our masculine and feminine energies, the more in the flow of life we will be – giving and receiving in equal measure, being strong and being able to get what we want out of life and having clear boundaries (masculine energy) while feeling and being when the moment calls for it, caring for others (feminine energy), and acting and doing from a place of conscious manifestation (creating good for all) rather than a place of just doing things to make money or for purely selfish reasons.
What else can I let go of (or let go of more!)?
- Caring what others think about me (and the self-censorship that results from this)
- Wanting everything to work out how I want it to work (control)
- Worrying about the incoming and outgoings of money (anxiety=control as opposed to surrender)
- All forms of judgement and criticism (of self, situations/circumstances/events and of others)
- All fear and pain that surfaces as it constantly does during purification and cleansing processes (watch it arise and let it go)
What I am asking for:
- A continuous and abundant flow of money from all sources (I disconnect from the concept that money only comes from ‘work’)
- A continued opening to the giving and receiving of love on all levels with all beings, while being clear on my boundaries (important for someone naturally very open like me)
- A continued release of all blocks to my full and complete self-expression
- A recognition of unconditional support and love coming from all sources: Universe, friends, family, clients, air, earth, sky, puppies, rivers, mountains
- Trust: Trust that everything happens in a divine order and that the universe is divinely supporting my self-actualisation at every moment. This includes trusting that even the very uncomfortable experiences / events have been orchestrated by my higher self so that understand and progress to the next level of life
- More presence in every moment of my life (less doing and more being)
Want to join me in my Surrender Experiment?
Here are some practices that will help:
- Every morning, before getting up, ask what your soul needs most from you today
- Meditate at least half an hour every morning (I do a heart opening meditation on giving and receiving love, and asking to grow)
- Exercise regularly: practice yoga asanas at least four times a week, or go for regular walks, climb mountains or whatever it is that is fun for you
- Practice radical self care (schedule regular massages or your chosen me-time experience), self-love and gratitude each day and let go of all self-judgement and self-criticism
- Write down all the things you wish to surrender and practice letting go (non-attachment) of these things / feelings / states each day as they arise
- When something traumatic happens on an emotional level (as it often does when you are letting go of a lot of old behaviours that no longer serve you), then keep the focus on yourself and not the person / situation that triggered the trauma. Watch the rising emotions and investigate the thoughts and beliefs behind them. Write down those thoughts and beliefs, doesn’t matter how negative or painful they are. Write them all down and then look at them and do some Byron Katie style questions… Are they true? What would your life be like if you didn’t have this thought/ belief?
- Do some personal mystical work that feels good for you: this might be Tarot, astrology, witchy spells for abundance and luxurious experiences, set up an alter in your house and leave offerings like flowers or crystals each day as you ask for what you wish for
- Spend regular time with friends who you love and who love you, and nuture these relationships
- If there are people in your life who drain you or who regularly judge and criticise you or who just generally don’t make you feel good, ask yourself why you are choosing to have them in your life, and consider letting these people go
Want to find out more about the masculine and feminine energies and balancing them? Have a look at this article.
I would love to hear how these practices change your life experiences in the coming months!