Icelandic geyser turns yogini upside down

By Chantal Hauser

I am still overexcited and keep falling over backwards when attempting a freestanding Adho Mukha Vrksasana (Handstand). Still, it is slowly coming along!

Enthusiastically, I am trying to get my focus, my balance and my mind to my center. My body feels flushed with new energy. Stretching up into free air, holding on steady with the pillars of my arms, and my two hands as the foundation. I am rooted, I am patient, and I feel strong. We tend to walk up straight on our two feet, and think of performing a handstand as a difficult task. I am not saying it is not. Therefore, walking on your feet shouldn’t be as challenging, especially since we – most likely – have been walking on our feet for longer than we’ve been standing on our hands.

Last summer on a trip to Iceland I was proven wrong. It actually can be very challenging to walk on your feet! We probably don’t remember the frustration we had when we first moved from crawling to walking but in late summer 2011, I had a déjà-vu with how that experience might have been.

Everything started when my foot slipped into a hot spring, a raw and powerful geyser as hot as lava. It burned my skin right off my flesh. Thank Vishnu I was already barefoot and had my pants rolled up to my knees. It was P-A-I-N-F-U-L! It hurt so much that even now I cannot find the right words to describe the pain. Granted, if I was in a completely healthy state of mind, I would have been telling myself, “Stay away! Don’t go near that calm and beautiful looking pond!”

However, last summer I was thinking, “Cool! That looks interesting! Let me touch it!” I knelt down with no hesitation and touched the water with my hand. It was warm and comfortable. The mistake happened when I stood up and put weight on my left foot. Within a split second my foot fell through the earth, into the boiling hot water bellow. I pulled my left leg out with the help of my right leg. The right one was luckily on a stable spot. I don’t even want to think about if the right leg would have sunken in as well.

After panicking down the mountain and having been bandaged up in a hospital, I was on the way back to the rented apartment with plenty of morphine in my system. On the bus to Reykjavik I kept thinking, “what did I do? What the f did I do? What the f was I thinking?” I was thinking nothing when it happened, that was my problem. I was at a point in my life where I thought I was strong. I was at a point in my Yoga practice where I thought I was good. I was in the moment.

A couple of days later, there I was; back in my country, in my bed, and I could barely move. The highlight of the day was getting up and making may way to the bathroom. Yes, it was that bad. The painkillers were so strong that I couldn’t even concentrate to read a book; I would pass out before finishing a chapter. After two very slow weeks had gone by, I could finally put minimal pressure on my foot and immediately thought about yoga. In fact, all I could think about was that I missed my yoga practice, my asana, and my movement. Yoga was what saved my life before, why not this time?

I rolled out my mat, and tried to stand up in Tadasana (Mountain Pose). It did not work at all! I couldn’t flex my left foot without a horrific scream. Ok, I still have to wait with the standing poses. Fine, I can wait. What about floor poses?

That should work. Slowly, I worked my way down into Dandasana (Staff Pose). Again, my left foot would not flex. Alright, moving on to Plan C. What about Sarvangasana (Shoulder stand)? If my foot wouldn’t flex I might as well try a pose where there is no pressure and no flexing! As soon as I stretched my legs up high, my nervous system kicked in, telling me this isn’t going to work. My body shut down, my ears started to hurt, my nose congested and I could not breathe. My legs started to tingle in a bad way, I immediately rolled down onto my back, and lying on the floor, I started to cry. I was an emotional wreck. My mind and my body were disconnected. Why did nothing work?

Nothing! All I wanted to do was Yoga! I was starring at the ceiling listening to my whining and feeling the touch of my tears rolling down my face onto my mat. I thought sarcastically: “Hey, at least I am dripping on my mat, it’s not sweat but it is me.” Then something clicked, I am always telling people, “Yoga is so much more than just asanas!” If I cannot do asana practice, I can do something else. I can meditate and concentrate on my healing. I sat up in a somewhat highly modified Sukhasana (Easy Pose). I forgot about asanas, I moved them away. I let go of everything. I closed my eyes and listened to my breath, remembering my first Yoga class. The teacher told me to listen to my breath. Mind you, I have never listened to my breath before. Then she continued; telling me to concentrate on what I see in front of me with my eyes closed, to smell my surroundings, to taste the insides of my mouth, to listen to the environment and to be completely still. And that is what I did for the next 30 minutes! I sat there, going back to the basics. I couldn’t do anything else without hurting myself or pushing myself too hard, so I sat and I listened to my breath until I calmed down.

For the next couple of weeks I did just that. Every once in a while, I was trying to stand up in Tadasana and perhaps peeking for Sarvangasana. One step at a time – very slowly – I got better. I kept thinking about how finding balance, trying to stand up straight, and falling so many times must have been very frustrating as a baby. Yet, we all kept on trying, and we did not give up!

Most of the burn marks on my left foot have disappeared. I still have a visible scar on my Achilles heel. Sometimes, when I stand in Tadasana and my foot itches and feels trapped in my new skin, I am reminded of that day – on top of a mountain in Iceland. For now, I keep practicing my freestanding handstand and whenever I fall, I stand right back up.

Chantal Hauser is a yoga teacher who is currently living the nomadic life of a ‘global yogini’ – travelling, teaching yoga around the world, and studying life on the side. She doesn’t have a Facebook page, but will soon have a website. Watch this space!